Secure Attachment

What is Secure Attachment?

Secure attachment is considered the healthiest type of bond between a child and their caregiver. It’s when a baby feels safe, comforted, and protected simply by having you close. They know you are someone they can count on — someone who meets their needs and offers steady, loving care.

Securely attached babies tend to prefer their caregiver over strangers, seek comfort from them when upset, and feel confident exploring their surroundings as long as their caregiver is nearby.

This early connection plays a vital role in healthy development. Consistent love and stability give children the confidence to trust themselves and the world around them.

As they grow, secure attachment often leads to higher self-esteem, strong and lasting relationships, and the ability to trust and seek support from others. The relationship they experience with you now becomes their model for healthy relationships in the future — in friendships, family bonds, and partnerships.

Responding to Your Baby’s Needs

Research shows that secure attachment develops when parents respond with empathy to what their baby is communicating, meeting both emotional and physical needs.

If your baby is crying from tiredness but you try distracting them with toys or rocking instead of helping them sleep, you might be missing what they truly need — which can sometimes make the crying worse as they become more overtired. Likewise, offering extra feeds when they’re actually protesting for sleep may lead to an unsettled baby with both tiredness and a sore tummy.

Tuning in to your baby’s cues and responding in ways that match their needs helps strengthen your bond and supports their learning and development.

Keeping Perspective

The truth is, no parent gets it right all the time — and that’s okay. Babies are far more resilient than we often give them credit for. The pressure of constant advice can make parents feel guilty or inadequate, but you and your baby are doing better than you think.

If you are:

• Respecting your baby’s need for regular support

• Feeding them according to their needs (whether breastfed, formula-fed, or both)

• Allowing and helping them sleep when needed

• Providing a safe, loving environment with communication and age-appropriate play

• Caring for your own wellbeing

… then you are already building the foundation for a secure, healthy attachment.

Your Wellbeing Matters Too

Your wellbeing is a vital part of the secure attachment puzzle. When you are rested, supported, and cared for — both emotionally and physically — you’re better able to give your baby the same. Taking time for yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessary part of being the best caregiver you can be.